It’s been a while since the last post on this blog and I like to think I have a good excuse. Since December 2010 (December the 1st to be exact) I have been otherwise engaged in feeding, changing and generally entertaining my gorgeous baby Alanna. Incredibly she is now nearly 18 months old and emerging from the chrysalis of babydom into a walking, talking little girl and I am emerging from this intense period of motherhood and have started to make work again. Most recently I’ve been working on various posters for band BluesMix who just released their third album, Flat Nine, and am currently putting together a new website for painter Daniel Shadbolt – look out for that in the work section soon. If you have a project and you’d like us to help, please do get in touch – Draw() is once again open for business.
Daisy
Beautifully stated! My lttile girl’s nearly 4 mos. old, so this is all very fresh to me and I am still going through a lot of these transitions and realizations. I, too, had an unplanned c-section and was so very unprepared for it. I wasn’t one of those women who had a perfect, magical birth plan ready. I had a one, but ended up forgetting to bring it to the hospital when I went into labor. I just didn’t want to be induced and I didn’t want to have a c-section. Both ended up happening.I remember looking at her when she’s about a week old and I just sobbed because I felt nothing. My husband gushed over his love for her, while I didn’t feel anything, which only increased my anxiety and baby blues. A small voice inside told me that maybe it would take time and I hoped it would. After a couple of months, I really did feel that I had fallen in love with her and it grows every day I think mothers like to say Savor every moment because their children are grown and they miss those days, but you can’t enjoy every moment, seriously. I think it sets women up for feeling inadequate if they miss anything, but it’s just not possible. Endless screaming, difficult breastfeeding, refusing to sleep and keeping you up all night isn’t all sunshine and rainbows. Sometimes it plain sucks and you just have to roll with it. I don’t take things day by day I take them hour by hour, feeding to feeding, nap to nap. When one day is especially rough, I look to the next day with the optimism that tomorrow will go better (to keep my sanity!).You do sometimes need to get a break away from the baby and close the door or have your husband deal w/ her so you can take a nap or get a moment to breathe. I know what you mean about missing your daughter after being away, even if it’s just a nap! It’s so much harder than I could ever imagine, but I love it.